Riverdale season 4, episode 5, finally brought the show’s least happy family back together.
“Chapter Sixty-Two: Witness for the Prosecution” might take the cake for most characters accused of murder in a single episode. If I was in this episode of Riverdale I would almost feel offended if nobody even considered the possibility that I might’ve murdered someone. I’d just feel really left out.
This was a pretty big episode for Veronica after a slow start to the season, so I’ll start with the accusations closest to her. Of course, Hiram and Hermione’s crimes were committed in Riverdale season 3, but they finally came to a head in season 4, episode 5.
I am so annoyed that Hiram is already out of jail, but how long could we really expect to him stay locked in a cage of his own making? At least this makes more sense, and I’m excited to see what the newest Lodge in town brings to the family. I have no idea why Hermosa is on Hiram’s side, or how long she’ll stay there, but I’m excited to see how she shakes up the dynamic. Major eye roll at the fact that Hiram’s running for Mayor though.
After Hiram’s release I was a little worried for Hermione’s freedom, but since the trailer for the next episode shows her having a steamy post-prison conjugal visit, I’ll assume everything went according to Veronica’s plan. That was very clever on her part, and I’m glad she decided to support her mom, but I hope it doesn’t come back to bite her. Spoiler alert based on nothing but all of the show’s history: It will.
Veronica definitely wasn’t the only one with major sibling drama in Riverdale season 4, episode 5. Charles is now my number one (and only) suspect for the creep that’s been leaving tapes on everyone’s doorsteps. If only because I’m calling bullshit on any FBI training course just being a game of “who wants to identify a serial killer.”
I’d be way more into Betty’s serial killer gene storyline if Riverdale had made me believe, for even a second, that Betty could be a serial killer. I just don’t think she has it in her at all. Sure, she’s a little kinky and she likes amateur crime solving, but I don’t think her next step is going to be a varsity athlete killing spree.
What I did like about Betty’s story in Riverdale season 4, episode 5, was the fact that she’s friends with Kevin again. Did he really earn her forgiveness? No. But it’s nice to see them walking down the hall arm in arm, nonetheless. Especially since Jughead’s no longer there to play buddy cops with her.
Guys, Jughead was ridiculously cute in this episode. I know I’m not the only one who melted to a puddle when his face truly lit up at the mention of the Baxter Brothers and wine and cheese night, and when he incredulously yelled at F.P. for getting rid of his books. These moments were so perfectly Jughead, and they were wonderful.
These moments also made me so sad because Brett is such a grade A asshole and has to ruin everything. I’m sure Jughead’s eventual (potential) fate has something to do with this “perfect murder” contest. Best case scenario, everything we’re seeing is part of Jughead’s scheme to enact the perfect murder, and none of it is real. Worst case scenario, he’s actually been murdered by his best friends and girlfriend, but I’m just not ready to entertain that possibility.
I’m really excited that we learned a little bit more about Jughead’s family in Riverdale season 4, episode 5. Now that he’s going by Forsythe, I hope more information about his grandfather comes out. This could also be a cool way for Jughead and F.P. to connect more in this season of the show.
Even though, as usual, I’m feeling pretty “ugh” about Archie and his cape fetish. I really did feel for the guy in this episode. He’s trying so hard to give back to his community, and his nemesis is doing everything he can to make that impossible.
I absolutely think Archie is going about things in the wrong way, but it is a really frustrating situation that I hope he can find a legitimate way out of. Also, to Archie’s credit, his “come at me bro” speech about his mom being a lawyer and F.P. being his bestie’s dad was pretty epic, and one of the highlights of Riverdale season 4, episode 5.
That’s almost it for this week! However, since it’s Riverdale’s senior year, each week I will be giving out some yearbook superlatives for the episode. Check them out here!
‘Riverdale’ season 4, episode 5 awards
Cutest couple: This episode was extremely light on romance, so Betty and Kevin win!
Best dressed: Hermosa Lodge for a strong entrance
Worst dressed: Archie. It’s time to lose the super suit, man
Most likely to be a serial killer that leaves VHS tapes on people’s doorsteps: Charles
Most likely to grow up to be an adult bully: Brett
Most likely to be a shameless ploy to sell more merchandise: Archie’s El Royale Boxing Club shirt